Employee of the Millennium
by Kirbunny431
Summary: Felix is your average new face around town, currently serving his time as an employee of Tom Nook. Debt doesn't pay itself, you know. Hijinks ensue as Felix tries to undermine Nook's authority at every turn.


**Uh...hi! This is the first time I've given any proper author's notes, so I'll try to be brief. This story details the exploits of Felix, a player character who has just moved into Blossomville. As with all player characters, Felix must spend some time working for Tom Nook. This story details Felix's exploits as he begrudgingly follows Nook's orders, more or less.**

**I hope the formatting is all right. The Doc Manager seems to have warped the layout a bit. Let me know how I can improve if it detracts from your experience at all!**

**This story will probably go on for at least a couple more chapters, unless the response is so bad that I am forced to tearfully delete it and pretend that it never existed. I hope it's the former. So, enjoy! (For my sake.)**

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"Good work," said Tom Nook, owner and eternally present manager of Nook's Cranny, the only store in the entirety of Blossomville. "I had some reservations, but I suppose I'll have to trust your judgment, hm?" He peered out the window and shook his head in blatant disappointment. He "trusted my judgment" as much as a fly trusted a spider.

_Shove it,_ I thought, _You were the one who ordered me to plant flowers and saplings in the middle of December. What did you expect? A lawn worthy of the cover photo on a home improvement magazine? I don't think so, Tom. _Despite my very low opinion of him, I tried to maintain a somewhat respectful attitude toward my unwanted boss. "Thank you, Mr. Nook," I said, my smile as fake as the Christmas tree he had set up in the back corner of his store, "I live to serve." Whether I want to or not.

"I'm glad you're finally back, though," Nook continued, "I have another errand for you." Surprise surprise. This guy is going to work me 'til I'm dead. "You know about the bulletin board outside of Town Hall, yes?"

"Of course," I answered. How could I have missed it? I had to visit Town Hall on my way into Blossomville, and the giant bulletin board was literally sitting right outside. I would consider myself legally blind if I hadn't seen it as soon as I approached the building.

Nook gave a short nod. "Good," he said, "I'm having a sale tomorrow, and I want everybody in town to know. Your job is to write an advertisement for the store and post it on the bulletin board. Nothing flashy. Just let the townsfolk know that they can find some amazing deals tomorrow. I'll leave the specific wording up to you."

I knew better than to trust him. He would complain about my advertisement anyway, whether it be because of my grammar, my handwriting, or the effectiveness of the ad. Unsurprisingly, I didn't care. It wasn't in my job description to keep the boss happy. "Whatever you say," I finally said.

"Then hop to it, hm?" Nook said, "We still have much to do today, yes?"

I left the small store and set out on my quest to find the bulletin board. The brisk winter air bit at my nose, ears, and cheeks. A thin layer of snow covered the frozen ground, crunching under my feet as I walked. I considered wandering off to take a break, but ultimately decided against it. If Nook suspected me of slacking off, he could easily follow my tracks and beat me over the head with a shovel as punishment. Better stay on task, then.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Felix, a new resident in the town of Blossomville. I am currently under the employment of Tom Nook, a dastardly tanuki with a knack for business. That brown-furred, apron-clad menace was going to run me ragged with all of the errands and deliveries he planned to send me on during my tenure as his slave.

Yes, I said slave. So why am I working for Tom Nook, you ask? To put it simply, I was forced. I tried to buy a house from him upon my arrival in Blossomville, although I had no way to pay for it at the time. Nook told me I could make mortgage payments whenever I felt like it, which seemed like a pretty sweet deal on my part. I accepted his offer immediately.

However, he also insisted that I work for him part-time to take care of some of the debt. I tried to tell him that I would manage with the mortgage, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He said it was for my own benefit, but I think it's because he had a lot of errands to run and wanted someone else to do it for him. He simply saw an opportunity in me and took advantage of it.

And here we are. I'd only been on the job for about an hour, fifty-eight minutes of which was spent planting flowers and saplings. In December. I cannot stress that enough. _Freaking December._ Was Nook insane? The flowers were going to die in days, maybe hours. Some of the saplings might survive, but they were still pretty tiny. There was little hope for any of the poor plants.

Complaints aside, I quickly found my way to the bulletin board outside of Town Hall. Now, what did that fuzzy dictator want me to write? An advertisement? Why should I help him get business? I'm not a loyal employee or anything. I never even wanted to work for him in the first place. He forced me into it! I glared at the bulletin board, trying to set it aflame with my furious gaze. It stared back at me with the total indifference possessed by all inanimate objects.

_I should write something insulting instead!_ I thought, _That'll show him!_ The possibility of him reading my offensive message didn't even slightly deter me. I couldn't care less about his opinion of me. What was he gonna do, fire me? Ha! He wouldn't have the guts.

With a mischievous grin on my face, I tore a blank sheet of paper from a giant pad which hung on the bulletin board. I pressed it up against the board and messily scribbled, "Nook iz a jerk," onto the surface without any thought whatsoever. The Z in "is" was added for extra edginess. (Okay, so I accidentally wrote a Z instead of an S. It was an honest mistake!)

I pulled a thumbtack out of the cork surface of the bulletin board and used it to post the message. I stood back to admire my work for all of two seconds before angrily yanking the paper off and crumpling it into a small wad. A simple insult wouldn't do! Something much more complex was necessary. Something with more of an impact. Something that nobody would forget.

My pencil drummed against my thigh as I tried to think of a more suitable insult. Small flakes of snow started to drift down from the gray, clouded sky. I had to hurry. It was starting to get dark. Nook was probably obsessively counting the seconds I spent away from his shop, trying to think of a million other torturous errands he could send me on as revenge.

But he could wait, because I had come up with a fabulous idea. I quickly jotted my thoughts down on a fresh sheet of paper and stuck it to the bulletin board. I stood back and read the paper again and again. I'd never written a better poem in my life. The message read as follows:

_I work for a man called Nook_

_In exchange for a house that I took_

_He might seem all right,_

_But he'll get you at night_

_And he also is quite the crook!_

Satisfied with my short limerick, I trotted back to Nook's shop. I opened the front door a crack and fearfully peeked inside. I knew I had taken far too long to write my "advertisement." If Nook exploded into a furious, full-on verbal assault, the wooden door would at least provide a little bit of protection from the attack.

"Ah, you're back!" Nook said, "Come inside, hm?" Okay, so he wasn't angry (or at least wasn't showing it). I entered the shop and shut the door tightly behind me. I hated being trapped in the same building with the guy, but his stupid work uniform still did nothing to protect me from the cold. I couldn't stand outside for another moment without all of my blood freezing solid. First the flowers, now this. Did Nook even realize that it was winter?

"You did post the advertisement, yes?" Nook asked, "You took quite a while with that one. Perhaps remember to speed it up a little bit next time, hm?" Go ahead and criticize me, scumbag. My time was well spent. I didn't just sit around and wait for my slave to return so I could give him further orders. I used every second of my time effectively.

...

Okay, so all I did was write an offensive limerick. But that's still a good use of time, right? Right?


End file.
